ACADEMY OF GUIDANCE & DEVELOPMENT
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Gain the tools to succeed!
Unexpressed emotions will never die.
They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.
-Sigmund Freud
Select a suitable counsellor Do not go by paper qualifications. Choose someone you vibe with. This is one decision that is better taken emotionally than rationally. Go by your gut feeling. Answer the following questions truthfully to yourself before you begin in earnest:

Do you feel comfortable, relaxed and positive in the counsellor's presence?
Do you feel that your counsellor is being able to understand the depth of your feelings, and that you can confide anything and everything?
Is the counsellor generally available to you (personally, on phone, or e-mail), so that you can unburden yourself whenever it is necessary?
Do you feel that the environment, setting and timing suits you?
If you have answered ''yes'' to the above four questions, you are very lucky. you have found the right counsellor (and believe me, it is not that easy to find one). Now you can begin the process of setting your emotions in order.
How you can gain the most out of counseling ?
Approach the counsellor and give a brief outline of your area of major concern. While talking, ask yourself whether you feel you will be able to grow through regular counselling sessions with this person, or whether you are developing any mental blocks.
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Before you agree to go for repeated counselling , keep in mind the fact that it is a time consuming process. The counsellor is willing to give time, but do you also have the same level of commitment?

There are two stages of counselling:

Pouring out your innermost feelings and becoming lighter in your emotional burden, thus becoming able to look at your issues more objectively.
Discussing your problems in detail, analysing and then getting down to goal setting in conjunction with your counsellor.
 The first part may be over in one sitting, or may take three or four sittings on an average ( each sitting normally varies between 30 to 60 minutes, and rarely a little more). or may even take you dozens of sittings spread over months. Be prepared, since there are no short cuts to bringing about a transformation in your life. Please do not get carried away by people who offer instant solutions or things like '' total transformation in three days''.

If your problem involves others (e.g. your spouse, child, parent, boss, friend, etc.) the counsellor will be able to help you with your relationship only if you and the other person come for counselling willingly. Even otherwise the counsellor can help you, but to the extent of coping with the situation and chalking out your own direction in life.

Most counsellors prefer to do counselling on a 1:1 basis, i.e. with one person at a time, behind closed doors, and in full confidentiality. A good counsellor will not disclose what the other client said, without his permission. Do not feel bad if your counsellor refuses to divulge what your spouse or child shared with her.

Do keep in mind that all issues that are causing you emotional turmoil need to be tackled together, as they are inevitably interconnected. For example, if you consult your counsellor for your stress at workplace, but do not discuss the strain you are going through in your marriage, the purpose may not be fulfilled. There may be some issues from your past that are embarrassing, shameful, or causing deep anguish. You may feel that since they are over and done with, why rake them up. Do be open to relate these to the counsellor, and let him decide whether they are significant or not.

At every stage be very frank with the counsellor, and tell what you are feeling. It is better to inform the counsellor even when you are feeling angry, upset or disappointed with the counsellor or the way the counselling is going. It is for your own good and it will save the counsellor too some valuable time.

Do keep up your appointments. Inform the counsellor whenever you cannot keep up your commitments, even if there is no obvious reason for it. The counsellor understands whenever you cannot keep up your commitments, even if there is no obvious reason for it. The counsellor understands the even depression and mental fatigue can result in lethargy, procrastination, and low level of motivation. If you keep communication open, the counsellor will accept these shortcomings without placing any blame on you, and will help you overcome them.​
-Dr. Ali Khwaja.