ACADEMY OF GUIDANCE & DEVELOPMENT
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Gain the tools to succeed!
Unexpressed emotions will never die.
They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.
-Sigmund Freud
When life pulls us down, sometimes time is the best healer, sometimes it isn't. When we find that we cannot get over a failure or a major emotional setback, this is what we need to seek.
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If your little finger is cut, you can wash it in cold water, press something against it to stop the bleeding, and in a few minutes the problem is over. If you get a deep gash and hurt a vein or a bone,you better rush to the doctor instead of saying that, "time is the greatest healer". The same is true of emotional hurts. Some emotional setbacks just need time to heal. Some require us to move on with our day to day life, and they fade into the background.
Counselling for trauma and setbacks
Once in a while we may face a trauma that is so intense that it just refuses to go away, even if the cause is eliminated. The scars in our mind or heart can become permanent, and our entire life can get affected. Distracting ourselves can at best postpone the anguish, but like recovering from anesthesia, the pain comes back with greater force when the distraction is over.
When emotional pain engulfs us, we tend to keep away from our dearest friends. In isolation we suffer even more. Sometimes we share our pain, but it turns out to be with the wrong person or at the wrong time, and we feel more miserable for having confided our innermost feelings. This in turn isolates us more and more from everyone. The past starts haunting us, and the future looks bleak. There is no initiative or motivation left to even try and improve the situation.
Counselling for Trauma and Setbacks
In such circumstances, all we need to do is to somehow build up the mental and physical energy to reach out — to the right person — and place our trust in him. He will take the responsibility of working with us, guiding us, motivating us, and most important, of understanding and being patient when we are not moving forward. The counselor will help you re-live the trauma. That may sound painful, but that is like the surgeon who cuts you open, only to heal you. He may not be able to change your past, but he will be able to focus on the feelings that the incident has left behind. He will work with you on your feelings - to identify, understand and deal with them. He will work out strategies that improve your coping mechanism. He will be with you when you build up your emotional and mental strength, and he will give you the warm feeling that you are not alone in this torturous journey. It will take time, but soon you will see the light at the end of the tunnel, the light of hope. You will be able to get back to other positive facets of your life, and you will most probably find that you have come out of this setback much more strengthened to face any other setbacks that life may confront you with.
-Dr. Ali Khwaja.